The Human Element of Therapy: Why Friction Matters More Than Perfection
I loved this recent TIME essay on AI and therapy. It captures something many people misunderstand about what makes therapy work.
We tend to imagine therapy as a space where someone listens patiently, offers insight, and helps us feel better. But as the article points out, some of the most transformative moments in therapy aren’t smooth at all. They happen in the friction — when something feels off, when we feel misunderstood, or when our therapist disappoints us.
As the TIME article notes, “Those subtle, uncomfortable moments of friction—when the therapist sets a boundary, cancels a session, or says the wrong thing—are just as important as the advice or insights they offer.”
How Therapy Reflects Our Relational Patterns
Those moments often mirror the patterns that shape our relationships outside therapy. An avoidant client might withdraw. Someone who fears rejection might assume they’ve done something wrong. Another might stay silent, hoping the feeling will pass.
Therapy as a Space to Practice Something New
But the beauty of therapy is that it’s a safe place to do something different. To speak up when something stings. To ask for clarification instead of assuming the worst. To stay present even when the instinct is to retreat.
Why Relational Therapy Goes Deeper
This is what deep, relational therapy is about — not just learning tools, but experiencing connection, rupture, and repair. That’s what helps people grow new ways of being in real relationships: more honest, more grounded, and more resilient.
What Human Presence Makes Possible
While technology may replicate empathy through words, it can’t replicate what happens in those unscripted, imperfect moments between two people. Therapy works precisely because it’s human — complex, emotional, and sometimes uncomfortable.
Final Thought
If you’re curious about exploring that kind of growth-oriented work, you can learn more about our relational, insight-focused approach at Rachel Liles Psychotherapy.