Beyond Bubble Baths: Reclaiming Self-Care as Connection and Courage

Feeling overwhelmed? Discover why true self-care isn’t withdrawal, but action: when you feel the worst, that’s the moment to connect, contribute, and reclaim your agency.

In Dr. Samantha Boardman’s Wall Street Journal article, “Feeling Overwhelmed? Don’t Trust Your Instincts About What to Do Next”, readers are encouraged to reach out, connect, and take meaningful action when life feels unmanageable. This wisdom is at odds with mainstream self-care messaging, which too often equates care with comfort, avoidance, or retreat.

The Problem with Self-Care as Withdrawal

Modern self-care culture has become commodified and isolating. Popularized by bath bombs, solo routines, and influencer tips, it's morphing into a retreat—an insular pause that keeps us from confronting what truly hurts.

But that’s not how self-care started.

Self-Care as Resistance, Not Reports from the Spa

Originally, self-care was born from necessity, not indulgence. Look at the Black Panther Party: their free clinics and community programs were self-care because they fueled resilience, healing, and continued resistance. Pioneer Black feminists like Audre Lorde reframed self-care as a radical act of political survival: “Caring for myself is not self-indulgence; it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare,” (Lorde, A Burst of Light: And Other Essays, 1988).

Why Discomfort Calls for Action, Not Escape

True pressure often signals a call to engage. Just when everything feels unbearable, connection—not comfort—can be most restorative. Boardman underscores this by advising overwhelmed individuals to seek contact and take concrete, meaningful steps.

Acting with intention—however small the effort—rebuilds agency and reminds us we still matter. Sometimes showing up for others, or for a cause we believe in, anchors us when our own world feels adrift.

Reclaiming Self-Care As Action-Focused

• Seek Support in Community

  • Instead of solo spa retreats, lean into peer support or mutual-aid networks. Connection replenishes faster than isolation.

• Ground Through Service

  • This could be as simple as checking in on a neighbor or writing to legislators. A small act of care outside your own comfort zone reignites both empathy and agency.

• Embed Joy in Movement

  • Activists find that joy isn’t optional; it’s sustenance. Celebrating small wins, holding compassionate spaces, or communal creativity restores strength.

• Dual-Track Self-Care

  • Let care include both nurturing (rest, boundaries) and activation (connection, service). This balances our inner needs with outer purpose.

In Summary

Self-care should not be a cozy exit—it must also be an engaged entrance. When overwhelm strikes, that’s not time to disappear. Instead, it’s time to show up, even in modest ways.

Comfort without movement breeds disconnection. But action—even small, uncomfortable steps—grounds us in reality, reminds us of our values, and often heals more deeply than solitude.