What to Do If You Don’t Like Your Therapist’s Advice
Not every therapist’s advice fits. Learn why their response matters more than the advice itself, and how to talk about it to strengthen your therapy.
Therapy is about building a safe, collaborative space. But what happens if your therapist gives you advice that doesn’t sit right—or worse, feels completely off the mark? It’s an important question, because therapy isn’t about perfect answers. It’s about what happens next. An article in The Cut, delves further into this topic.
Why This Happens
Advice is human. Even seasoned therapists sometimes share suggestions that don’t land.
Context matters. Advice may miss the mark if it’s not grounded in your unique circumstances.
It’s not always about “bad” advice. Sometimes it’s simply advice that doesn’t fit you.
The Real Test: Their Response
What matters most isn’t whether the advice was “good” or “bad.” It’s how your therapist responds when you bring it up. A strong therapeutic relationship can handle discomfort, disagreement, or critique.
A good therapist will:
Welcome your honesty.
Be curious about why the advice didn’t sit well.
Adjust their approach to better meet you where you are.
A red flag is:
A therapist who dismisses your concerns, insists their advice is the only “right” way, or makes you feel judged for questioning them.
How to Talk About It
Start simple: “When you suggested X, it didn’t feel right for me. Can we talk about that?”
Share what you were hoping for: “I think I need more listening in this area, not solutions.”
Ask questions: “Can you tell me more about why you thought that might help?”
Why This Matters for Growth
The way a therapist handles feedback models what safe, healthy relationships can look like. In fact, working through a moment of mismatch can strengthen therapy. It shows you can bring your authentic self into the room—even when it means disagreement.
Final Thought
Not every piece of advice will land. That’s okay. What’s important is whether your therapist can listen, reflect, and adapt. Therapy is a collaboration, not a lecture. If you feel dismissed or consistently unheard, it may be time to consider whether the fit is right.